Stairway to Heaven
by Shizumi-chan
Summary: Whether or not the bet made sense, neither of them planned to lose. No way would they ever give a damn. .Kanda/Allen. "House of the Holy" Extended version with changed Title.
1. Houses of the Holy

**House of the Holy**

"_It's not my problem" Kanda says firmly, vehemently "I don't give a damn"_

It was evident, that he was beginning to lose himself. It was just a matter of time before he would be completely taken over. There was a thin line between the two sides, as he held on to the edge of one he slowly began to fall into the other. Most unfortunately, he was not fully aware of it himself, in actuality; he did not want to believe it really. He has decided, without meaning to, that ignoring the would be problem, would solve the would be problem, or at least, that is the decision for the time being. Nobody who cared enough knew about his situation, not that he'd even try to tell anyone who cared enough, much too painful on both his and the other party's part. Of course, there are those who don't seem to _**want **_to know, he could not blame them, and besides, he feels slightly thankful for that, the reason unknown. It was better if it remained a private matter, when it happens, it happens. But Allen Walker swears to himself and to all in the world that he would_** not**_ let it happen. Allen Walker _**vows**_ he is better than that.

Sanity, however, was surprisingly becoming very difficult to sustain. Precarious events come one after another, and it does not help at all, that he is often with unwilling company during his more recent missions. Not that he was _**really **_complaining; he was over that stage; he would avoid bickering with the hot-headed Kanda Yuu as much as possible. The spiteful swordsman refused to be involved with his so called 'secrets' too much anyway. Whatever Allen Walker did outside of his presence was essentially none of his business and therefore irrelevant to his life in general. When the time comes, if it ever comes, Kanda Yuu would be the first one to raise his weapon. 'I'm not losing to a damn Noah', is what he would say when the time comes, and he will thereafter affirm that there is death for anyone who is even a little human. Such is Kanda Yuu's dedication to his job.

When it boils down to it, neither of them really gave a damn about much anymore. An exorcist's life is slowly becoming the only path, and the goals are all boiling down to one objective, one such they would do anything to achieve. One is slowly selling his soul for the salvation of others, while the other continues his outrageous gamble with death in search for what is unknown to many, both ridiculously impossible tasks, if not just increasingly difficult. Both equally insane in their own right, although insanity wasn't so uncommon these days anyway, war does funny things to the mind and soul. Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu bring their own share of madness to this worldwide epidemic. Not just in their general goals and activities, but also in their peripheral and more private activities.

For example, they have made a bet with each other, that nobody knows because the secrecy itself is part of the bet, and this particular bet, was not only insanely both masochistic and sadistic, but it was also bordering on ridiculously lewd (to both their own selves and one another). It was a bet of an extreme sort, something one could not, would not, expect from them in a million years, but as aforementioned, war indeed does funny things to the mind and soul, or it should be said that in this particular matter, of their bet, wars do funny things to the body. This is in no way, pertaining to any injury obtained in physical battle. This was a different kind of 'funny', one such that would border on sensual, if it wasn't already extremely, coherently sexual.

"Nnnh..." Allen grunts when his mouth is invaded and a hand simultaneously rides up his thigh. Briskly, he is pinned down onto the floor, and a thud echoes in the room. The hand which isn't tracing circles on his thigh sneaks beneath his button down shirt, and slowly ghosts the skin of his abdomen and chest.

They part, Allen gives out a huff and suppresses a groan, a low raspy voice whispers into his ear "Enjoying?" and what follows can only be a growl.

"Shut up" is the slightly irate reply, Kanda Yuu smirks at this, though only briefly, let's out a breath. Slowly retracts the hand crawling up the snow-haired exorcist shirt. "Tsch, you will" and he unbuttons the shirt using only one hand, the other one making itself busy massaging a certain bulge in Allen's pants.

Allen screws his eyes and lips shut, trying not to make any sounds or faces, Kanda licks his earlobe, and he can't help but shudder in response. "Shit..." he finds himself mumbling, Kanda moves down to his neck, and he hisses. At this point, any effort to turn things over would be futile, but Allen Walker was not about to lose. He would win this bet somehow, even if he was more likely to become 'emotionally attached' than the swordsman.

Their bet was simple really; and the stakes were high in a manner of speaking. Whoever was the first one to 'give a damn' would lose, the stakes were their hearts, whoever lost would end up rejected they'd both decided (not really thinking it over, deeming their mutual loss to be impossible). Both of them were convinced that something just carnal wouldn't make them feel any real attachment to one another. They were nothing beyond workmates, unwilling allies maybe, it was all 'purely physical' they'd say to themselves, thinking that people touch each other all the time (although, admittedly, it is not in that way).

During all of their nights of debauchery, they'd tease each other physically and emotionally, continually taking advantage of each other's vulnerability (caused by their intimate activities). Who was winning their little bet neither of them were sure of, and they'd both probably never know. Neither of them would admit to defeat anyway. It might be that all this fuss (?) they're making is all ridiculously pointless.

"Hnnk—" holding back a scream, Allen holds on to the sheets for dear life as the swordsman entered him, the dark haired man groaned as the heat enveloped him, pulling him in. Kanda stilled when he was in to the hilt, he willed his eyes open, and stared at the snow-haired boy's flushed face. His eyes were clamped shut, as he bit his lower lip. Kanda couldn't help but smirk "Losing yourself are we?" he says

"Shut up" Allen replies, breathlessly, his voice strained. The number of times he said these two words that particular night was exceptionally uncountable. Kanda teased more, and he was in complete control, he was being remarkably aggressive (exponentially more than usual). "It's—It's not like you aren't... Nnnh... Losing yourself....either...." his breathing hitches more

"Who's losing himself?" Kanda says with a sharp thrust. Allen's back arches and a loud cry echoes in the room, it is anything but a pained one.

Allen begins to think that he is losing the battle, though he would rather keep such information to himself. Kanda wouldn't understand, he'll just go about being a jerk about it. He'd relish his victory. Allen would most definitely not inform him of his current stand in the whole bet thing. Until such time comes when it is far too ridiculous for them both to go on about it, he would just focus on the sensations, enjoy the contact, delight in the attention, and savour the moments, when it is just the two of them, losing themselves in pleasure.

"Let's have another bet..." there are times when Allen wants to test Kanda, see if he'd notice "... the first to die loses" and then he grins

Kanda seems to be ignoring him, he's quickly redressing himself, he just can't sleep over in the bean's room (is what he's thinking), all would be over when they're found out.

"Do we have a deal?" the snow-haired exorcist grins sheepishly, and he looks quite endearing there on the bed, lying on his stomach, head in his arms, legs folding and unfolding in a playful rhythm.

"I'm not an idiot bean..." Kanda finally says, and Allen half expects that he's figured it out "... I won't take a bet I'll obviously lose" but alas (or fortunately?) he has not, and has never showed an inkling of suspicion either, not once.

The words 'Why would you lose?' were on the tip of Allen's tongue, but he bit his lip so as not to say it. He is startled when Kanda talks once again, "Besides..." he says, while grabbing his exorcist's coat "...when I die is none of your business, nor is your own death date any of mine" he walks towards Allen and leans down till their faces are only centimetres apart, Allen is completely surprised when Kanda closes the distance and kisses him. It lasts for what is probably one glorious minute (or two). He breaks away as softly as he began the kiss, "It's not my problem" he breathes "I don't give a damn" and with that he leaves the room.

......................

**EDIT: I DECIDED TO MAKE IT THREE PART INSTEAD OF ONESHOT. But it's still the same content, chopped into 3. **


	2. The Song Remains The Same

**The Song Remains the Same**

Even though he knew that it was nearly impossible for either of them to win anyway, because neither of them are really human anymore, he was still going through with the damn bet. Mostly, because he was not about to lose, it was not in his nature at all to back down from a challenge, especially if it was against someone whom he essentially cannot stand. He knows the winner, and whether or not there will be a winner, will be decided purely by chance. If he is more human than he thought he was, and if the other would succumb to darkness earlier than expected, it's his loss. However, if nature takes its unavoidable course, and he was to die even before the other made a subconscious decision, then it would be his win (as well as his loss in a way, but a win no less). There are of course other possible outcomes, but essentially there are only two. There can only be one winner, and one subsequent loser. And he of course, does not even stop to consider that they might both lose.

"Do you hear anything Marie?" Kanda asks in that gruff voice of his. He was becoming (more) impatient; they've been waiting for hours.

"Nothing but the normal bustle of the night market..." Marie replies, and he sounds a bit tired of all the waiting as well, though he looks calmer than Kanda (of course).

"Patience is a virtue" Allen says, though he himself was getting restless. He sees Kanda roll his eyes.

"This is taking too long..." the swordsman says through clenched teeth

"Quite excited to get busy aren't you?" the Englishman says, looking and sounding nonchalant. The look on Kanda's face would have left anyone else harrowed. His utterly vexed expression makes Marie sigh, and Allen smile. The innuendo won't stop ringing in the swordsman's ears. "Oh, so I was right?" Allen followed up.

"Tsch" Kanda forces on a smirk "Not in this life bean" and it's Allen's turn to look cross.

"I have a name" he says "And I demand to be addressed by it"

The swordsman snorts, "Not in this life bean" he repeats

"What about the next life then?" and surprisingly enough for Kanda and Marie, Allen looks dead serious, and so for a moment, they're just standing there, wide-eyed.

"There is no next life" the swordsman says, in a characteristically solid voice "When we die, that's it"

"Hmm..." Allen's eyes narrow "...Whoever dies first wins doesn't he?"

Marie observes them curiously; Kanda's staring at the Englishman squarely in the eyes. It is rare, thinks Marie, that Kanda would put some serious thought into a reply.

"It's not a question of who dies first bean; in fact if one of us were to die now, nothing happens." Kanda looks away "...and no one wins."

"There's no way I would let that happen" Allen says

"Took the words right outta my mouth bean..." Kanda replies, indifferently, despite the statement

Marie decides it is best not to pry, and tries to look away, but inevitably, he hears what may be what they're waiting for. "Something's coming"

.....................

**I remember being told, that a whole is not as real as its parts**

_He looks panicked, eyes impossibly wide, hands shaking "Kanda we're gonna have to cut it off, it's too—"_

"_Don't you dare touch me bean!" Kanda hisses, and he looks at Allen with a fiery scowl. He's flinging his uninfected arm to swat the other exorcist away, utterly agitated._

"_It will heal Allen." Marie says, uneasily, but still sounding somewhat calm_

**The whole cannot exist without the part**

"_Heal!?" Allen shouts "He's not a parasitic type Marie how could it—" he stops himself, remembers something "But that's impossible.... How—"_

"_Shut up" the swordsman snaps, now scowling at the ground "Just shut up!"_

"_Allen calm down" Marie touches him on the shoulder, gently, reassuringly "Just let him be, it's fine."_

_And because Allen knows Marie should know better than him, he spares Kanda one last look, and leaves him be._

**But that part can exist without the whole**

"_What... What is he?" Allen asks when he knows Kanda wouldn't be able to hear them, but Marie only shrugs in reply. 'Ah...' Allen thinks '...It's not my place to ask then...' Though he sorta, kinda, wishes it was._

**What a load of bull—**

.......................

He opens his eyes slowly, cursing under his breath when bright sunlight falls upon his eyes, blinding him for a moment or two. Suddenly, the room is dim. He doesn't turn his head to where the window would be, feels the softness of the pillow beneath his cheek. The curtains have been pulled, the sunlight blocked. "Ah... Good morning..." he narrows his eyes, because he hates this person, or should hate him. Though he doesn't really care, whatever, "Where's Marie?" he asks.

"Oh, uhm... He went out, to buy...do... stuff..." this person, whom he hates, is beginning to shift uncomfortably "Ah... but he said he'll be back...in... a few hours..." annoyingly, this person is beginning to looks extremely apologetic "Look, Kanda, I'm sorry I said we should cut your arm out, I panicked and—"

"Do I sense..." he interrupts "...you losing the bet bean?"

"What?" said bean looks appalled "No!" is the vehement answer. He thinks that the bean might be telling the truth, he was, by nature, nice to everyone. Kanda was at times, no exception to that, wasn't he?

Kanda tugs Allen by the arm, making him crash down onto the bed. "What are you doing!?" the bean exclaims. The swordsman stares at him for a while, taking in the frustrated expression, and then replies "We haven't had adrenaline sex yet." The beans mouth gapes wide open. "You sick bastard! We can't fucking do that now! Battle adrenaline rush is over! We can't—"

"It's your fault for suggesting cutting off my arm, now it's come to this."

"Marie might come back any moment n—"

"Then make it quick."

"Why are you telling me tha—"

"You at least owe me a ride."

"Wha—" a blush, shaded deep crimson "PERVERTED BASTARD!"

He tugs his arm yet again "Ride me bean, or are you admitting you're losing the bet?"

"How is rejecting your kind 'offer' admitting I lost the bet?" this statement, although he's blushing, how quaint

"Well..." emotionless, but firm "...you're talking as if you care if we're caught"

"I do! Isn't the secrecy part of the bet anyway?"

"Vaguely..." a shrug "...not really"

"Not really?"

"I mean it's not really the point is it? And what kind of bet, has no risks?"

"There is a risk—"

"A broken heart? Come on, that's bullshit, you and I both know it won't end that way for either of us."

And it is at this point that both their expressions falter, if only slightly, not that either of them noticed the other, paying too much attention to themselves.

"Fine!" exasperated, let's-get-this-over-with tone

Kanda finds himself smirking.

........................

**And they were sorta caught**

Actually, no, ALMOST... So Marie walks in, and Allen's fly is open and his little brother is sort of (kind of) peeking out. And after Marie covers his eyes and shouts "oh dear" or whatever, Allen says "I was just proving to Kanda over here, that I do, indeed, have a dick."

Kanda nods briefly "Yep, that's exactly what he was doing." Marie does not question further.

...........................

"You're back! How was the mission?" Such is Lenalee, cheerful as ever.

"Oh it was fine! Great! Awesome! Right Marie!?" and Allen follows it with nervous laughter

"Ah..."Marie looks away "...yes"

"Is something the matter Marie, you're beginning to get a little pink..." Lenalee says with concern

"Some take it like men, others take it like bigger men" Kanda says, passing all of them, apparently heading to the cafeteria, strangely not in his usual after mission bad-mood state

"Well isn't Yuu in a good mood..." Lavi comments, surprising everyone with his entrance

"Ah..." Allen rolls his eyes "...Well"

"Oh? Allen do you know something by any chance?" Lavi quips

"Ah... Not really..." he tries to looks indifferent

Marie clears his throat in discomfort.

.............................

_He isn't scared, of course he isn't, but when you wake to find that the person you just slept with is looking like a totally different person, you'd freak out too (if only a little). For a while, Kanda just stared at him, and for the record he was definitely not trying to convince himself that he didn't care. Somehow, Kanda thinks, it's not safe to just call out the bean (or whoever he was at that moment), so instead, he decides to simply sit up, and dare look at the bean in the eye._

_It was probably something Kanda would never forget that look on Allen's face, filled with what could have only been hate and bloodlust. He did not flinch, nor did his expression waver, but gearing himself up for a possible attack, Kanda says "Oi, bean..." his voice is conversational, nonchalant. In a split second, as if nothing ever happened, Allen returns to his usual self, almost as if that other person wasn't there. Kanda finds himself narrowing his eyes. "K-Kanda?" Allen stutters "Ah... Good Morning, how long... have you been awake?"_

"_About thirty seconds" the swordsman lies easily_

"_Oh, uhm, I'm gonna head out first... Seeing as this is your room... so..." and when Kanda just looks at him Allen adds "...I'm gonna take a shower..."_

_The Japanese man dismisses the fact that Allen didn't wait or ask for his permission like the usual. He tells himself it's not his problem, whatever it was that was happening to the bean. A deep breath. He didn't give a damn._

................................

**EDIT: I DECIDED TO MAKE IT THREE PART INSTEAD OF ONESHOT. But it's still the same content, chopped into 3. **

**NOTE: I now realize (or rather remember) that Noise Marie is blind thanks to the review of Miyto... But then I also know that he has a way ok... Never mind... You guys get it :| this fic has officially become disturbing to me too HAHAHA)**


	3. Stairway to Heaven

**Stairway to Heaven**

"Why are you staring at me?" disturbed, perturbed, unnerved, uneasy, queasy, and maybe just a tad little bit dizzy, all of these described the Allen Walker who stood before Kanda Yuu right now. But who wouldn't feel as such, when such dark penetrating eyes have been staring at you with their piercing gaze all day. "You're being weird today Kanda..." the swordsman merely narrows his eyes, looking as though he might have even not heard that statement. The Englishman briefly wonders if there was something on his face. "You know, if you've got something to say, just say it!" but despite the words coming out of his mouth Allen looks terrified. He then decides, to _pretend _to leave their train compartment (in "rage"), and so he stands up, but when Kanda doesn't so much as flinch, a stops his act and exclaims "GAH!! WHAT IS IT!!!"

"I was just thinking about how idiotic my nether regions are to get stimulated by _you_"

"...Oh, kiss my ass..." Allen rolls his eyes "You wouldn't really think about _that_ would you?" though maybe Allen _is _sorta, kinda, happy that at least he's thinking about him somehow

"Hnh..." Kanda snorts, but doesn't smirk "... Bet you'd like that"

"If I was anything like what you are, a nasty minded pervert, then yes, I _would _like that..."

"Please..." Kanda rolls his eyes "...you look like you're way more than just _willing _to sit on my face right now."

The Englishman glares "Oh fuck you..."

"No, fuck _you_"

"See, _this _is what I mean by nasty minded pervert"

"Hey, you're thinking it, not me..." he shrugs "...I meant that as an insult..."

"Tsch, PUHLEEZE" both Allen and Kanda ignore how the Englishman is starting to talk like Kanda, even though it's a possible giveaway to their (nasty) little bet. (and for the record, Kanda would like to point out that it was the 'Tsch' part of that statement which was taken from him)

"_Another_ quarrel between lovers?" Lavi walks in, a pile of books in hand

"LOVERS?" the two scream (in what we can assume to be either, rage, embarrassment, or denial... or you know, all of that)

"Woah there, I was just joking..." and this Lavi says, because he values his life "... and keep it down you two, we're in the library" though the bookman apprentice doubted that anyone would stand up to the two even if they made intolerable noise

"_Anyway!"_ Allen softly taps the table in front of him, restraining himself from simply just banging it "That was definitely NOT an insult" his glare is sharp, and firmly fixated on Kanda

"Normal people..." Lavi says "...,when in an argument, would assert that a statement holding double meaning, was said to mean the negative one."

"Well..." the Japanese's features remain stagnant "...the bean isn't exactly NORMAL"

"That's bull!!!" and he is of course looking at Kanda "Lavi, trust me, the insult version of this statement is WAY better"

"Oh?" Lavi raises an eyebrow, and begins to look quite (evilly) interested "How so? What did he say?"

"Uh..." the Englishman decides, that he has made a bad move "Well that... that is..."

"What's the matter bean? It's a simple two word sentence" and the swordsman snorts, loud and proud

"Two word?" says the bookman apprentice, disappointment in his expression "DANG, was hoping it was three..."

"Please..." Kanda is an *cough* intelligent *cough* man, and so _of course _he knows what Lavi meant "... That's impossible, wouldn't fucking say that in a million years..."

"You forget that Kanda only has a few three word sentences in his arsenal Lavi..." Allen interrupts "... These are primarily 'Leave me alone', 'Don't touch me', 'Go to hell', 'Kiss my ass', and 'Go fuck yourself'."

Kanda, so uncharacteristically snorts, and raises an eyebrow will looking at Allen, his lips moving to form the smallest of smirks. Something tells Allen that it was a mistake to include that last three word statement.

"Damn guys, you flirt like hell..." Lavi laughs "...If you aren't careful people might think you're sleeping with each other" he jokes, and much to his surprise and amusement, Kanda snorts, while Allen chokes on his own saliva.

................................

_The time is slowly coming, when all will be lost and all will be found. Humanity which was never there shall be lost, humanity which was barely there shall be forgotten, and sanity shall no longer be of any great priority. Living shall be the primary concern, survival the main goal. Winning, will no longer be left an option, but a necessity. A great war is imminent, all roles have been made, all the actors have taken their places, and all that's left is for the spotlight to shine and for the film to begin rolling. _

_Some secrets shall never be known, clues we must settle with, and answers we must not expect._

.........................

Usually, he doesn't really think much about what they do in bed. Because that was the bet, he wasn't supposed to look for any hidden meanings or anything like that, because that would make him lose all the more. It's bad enough that he's already, though not admittedly, defeated. He can't make it worse by having so much longing feelings during sex. This was supposed to be one of their no-thinking-involved activities. Because once you start _thinking _about the sex, while _having _the sex, you _get into it_, and _getting into it_ means _getting into your partner,_ and _getting into your partner _means _liking your partner, _and sometimes _liking your partner_ can mean _loving your partner. _And unfortunately among _some _of those _times, _is probably _this _time.

"I _knew _it" Kanda commented idly, as he was pushed down onto his own bed.

"Shut up" Allen retorts snappily, swiftly opening up the swordsman's button down shirt.

"Interesting suggestion you had back there bean..." and he doesn't even so much as flinch when Allen ghosts his hands over his chest

"What suggestion?" the Englishman presses down his right hand on the area where Kanda's tattoo was, and it is then when the Japanese winces. The wince however, swiftly turns into a smirk.

"I'd like to see you 'go fuck yourself'." Allen of course, is completely embarrassed by this, even more so because the other looks completely unfazed. He ends up retorting with what is on the tip is on his tongue.

"I'll do it..." Kanda raises an eyebrow at that, but before he can smirk Allen adds "...but only if you do it first"

"I don't have any assurance of you following up with your own show after mine" the swordsman says flatly

"Well, together then" and it takes a few seconds before the statement really sinks in. It is just SO wrong, on SO many levels.

Allen swears, that Kanda looks like he's gonna laugh "Who's the nasty minded pervert now bean?"

The Englishman's hands shake and he clenches his fists closed in frustration, his face contorts in irritation, and then he just whispers so swiftly through tightly clenched teeth "...shut up...", then he squeezes his eyes shut, hoping the exasperation he's feeling would leave his system pronto.

For a little while, they're still, staying just as they were. Kanda just looked at Allen as the Englishman was riding out his irritation (while, coincidentally (?), still straddling him). It surprises both on them with the swordsman sighs. He effortlessly switches their positions and pins the Englishman down. "Fine" he says "Together then" he sits both of them up, and then runs his hand through the soft white tresses. "You take the lead"

His words make Allen feel like Napoleon during final battle at Waterloo, **defeated**. Oddly enough he doesn't at all realize that his expression left the other feeling unwillingly similar, even though his hands were shaking the entire time.

.........................

_**When the time for heaven and hell to move right next door finally came, he volunteered to greet them first; then right before he leaves, for what everyone knows will be a final time, he says:**_

"_**I don't care who loses, because nobody will win"**_

.........................

"_I'm not ready..." tears stream down Allen's stricken face "...I just... I can't..."_

"_You can Allen..." Lavi asserts "Just go, just look at him for one last time, you know you want to..."_

"_I can't! I've lost!" he screams "If I go in there I'm gonna go insane!"_

"_You can do it Allen, you know you want to see him before we—"_

"_I do... and I don't..." he grimaces, cries louder "I can't do it Lavi! I just can't!"_

"_Allen..." he grabs him for a quick hug "... You're already going crazy... Go and see him, he would have wanted that" those last five words turn out to be the most convincing_

_.........................._

_It is Allen Walker who walks in, but it is not he who walks out._

_.........................._

(**A/N:**__OH EHMGE. I can't believe I actually polished this up. I've decided to finally edit all the stories I have up, I began with House of the Holy, making an extended version of it (AKA this thing). Anyway. Hope it wasn't too bad. Any insights on the scattered hidden events and meaning? Was I over-ambitious with them? Constructive Criticisms are welcome (just don't be mean in 'tone').

BTW: If I missed any typos during editing PLEASE tell me :)

ON EDITING ALL MY STORIES: While the editing of the one-shots goes on, I shall not update "The Last Space", It will resume when I begin editing "When the Black Order Acknowledges Theater")

**EDIT: I DECIDED TO MAKE IT THREE PART INSTEAD OF ONESHOT. But it's still the same content, chopped into 3. **


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